How The Grinch Stole Black Friday
Every shopper at the Mega Mart liked Black Friday a lot...
But the Grinch who lived just north of the Mega Mart did Not!
The Grinch hated Black Friday! The whole shopping season!
No one knew why. No one cared for his reason.
It could be that check out lines gave him a fright.
It could be, perhaps, his wallet was too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all
Was that it lessened the holidays, all the stores and the malls.
But,
Whatever the reason,
The lines or his wallet,
He stood there on Black Friday Eve, or whatever they call it.
He stared from his window with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the neon lit stores all aglow across town.
He knew all the shoppers were filling out lists
Of all the store sales, that couldn’t be missed.
“They’re busy clipping coupons!” he said with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Black Friday! It’s practically here!”
Then he sighed with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Black Friday from coming!”
Shoppers were outside the stores.
A dozen or two. But soon they’d be more.
They’ll show up in buses, and pull up in cars.
They’ll jam up the streets, near and afar! And when the malls open, they’ll jump and they’ll hop through every last store, and SHOP! SHOP! SHOP!
Why some stores are even opening tonight.
“But it’s Thanksgiving” the Grinch protested. “Now that just isn’t right.”
Many were camped out, instead of at home for the feast.
And that the old Grinch couldn’t stand in the least.
Instead of giving thanks for their families and health,
They’re skipping the meal to spend bank borrowed wealth.
And when the doors open, all the shoppers tall and small
Will push their way through the lines, and to the front of the malls.
They’ll swipe their Visa plastic, and debit cards with smart chips.
They’ll open up apps and display coupons they’ve clipped.
And they’ll all push their shopping carts, stack tall and leaning,
up to the registers, and the cashiers will start ringing!
They’ll ring! And they’ll ring!
AND they’ll RING! RING! RING! RING!
The more the Grinch thought of this racket or rings,
The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
“Why, for fifty-five years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I must stop this Black Friday from coming!"
“... But HOW?”
Then he got an idea!
A perfect idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, PERFECT IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed, and opened a chest,
And he pulled out a hard hat and a reflective orange vest.
He chuckled, and clucked, and then snorted with glee.
“With this hard hat and vest, I’ll look like and electrical employee!”
Then he went to the garage, and made quite a clatter,
looking for a pair wire cutters and an old wooden ladder.
Then he dismantled a flashlight, and grabbed an old plastic cup,
And made a flashing beacon for the top of his truck.
Then he packed up his gear, and then started down,
Towards the neon lit stores, all aglow across town.
“This will be the first store,” he grinned, “that’ll come to a stop!”
“I’ll shut down every one, by cutting their power!”
“They’ll be no door buster deals for the first two hours!”
“No extra early bird savings,” he snickered, his voice most giddy.
“They’ll be no electricity in the stores or the city!”
“The town will be black! A Black Friday indeed!”
“No lights in the windows, the stores, or the trees!”
Then he pulled out a file to sharpen his cutters,
When suddenly the back store door opened a flutter!
Then a Mega Mart employee walked out for some air.
And the Grinch stood silent, in the dark, and he stared.
She had only a moment for a quick getaway,
From stocking up shelves, and building displays.
On a tag, on her shirt, was her name Cindy Lou,
She was seasonal help, just for a month or two.
She looked exhausted, and her eyes, they looked tired.
She came in early this holiday, so she wouldn’t be fired.
She only stayed a minute and then cleaned off her glasses,
Before returning to work to prepare for the masses.
“I’ll teach these stores,” he thought, “A lesson that matters!”
Then he peaked around the building at the front of the stores, at the lines that were forming in front of the doors.
Then he climbed up the pole, and watched time expire,
And just when the stores opened, he cut all the wires!
Up and down the poles the Grinch worked with a haste,
Imagining the sadness on each shoppers face.
“Pooh-Pooh to the shoppers!” he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Black Friday is coming!
Then he heard angry shouts coming from around the stores
Of all the disappointed shoppers, banging on the doors.
Then the Grinch paused and listened. It was music to his ears.
“I must do this,” he thought, “each and every year.”
But suddenly another sound began rising from the snow.
It started out low. Then it started to grow...
The sound began to rumble, like an old refrigerator.
And then an engine ignited from the store's back up generator.
Then the Grinch stared across the Mega Mart,
And he fluttered his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
All shown aglow, and illuminated the night!
“Hooray for Black Friday!” The shoppers all cheered!
There was no need to worry, there was no more to fear.
Then a disappointed Grinch, packed up his truck.
“I tried,” he thought, “I was just out of luck.”
He couldn’t stop the big Black Friday spree.
All the $5 dollar toasters, and no-brand TVs.
“Thanksgiving,” he thought, “shouldn’t be spent in a store.”
“Shame on these businesses for opening their doors.”
Yet no matter how much he protested and hollered,
The Grinch could not complete with the almighty dollar.
And what happened then...?
Well... at the Mega Mart they say
That their bank account soared through the roof that day.
All they had to do, was open on Thanksgiving.
A kind act for their employees, to help them earn a living.
And as their store profits continued to rise,
It’s no wonder they haven’t adapted 24-365.
When the Grinch returned home in the bright morning light,
He felt an emptiness that he just couldn’t right.
He just wanted to make the world a more thankful place,
"It's the simple things," he said, "That can not be replaced."
Then suddenly his dog Max laid his head on his lap
“Much better,” the Grinch sighed, and the two took a nap.
Happy Thanksgiving, one and all
Spend time with your families, and away from the malls
Be thankful for those that you hold dear
and cherish the times spent throughout the year
Material things will come and pass
But our memories will always last
The holidays are coming, a time to care
with open hearts, and kindness shared.
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